Let me first say, I grew up watching the Green Hornet (on Nick At Nite people, I'm not THAT old!), so I went in, expecting a fresh coat of paint on an old classic. The film stars Seth Rogen (Knocked Up), Jay Chou (an Asian pop sensation), Cameron Diaz (Knight and Day), and Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds) with cameos from Tom Wilkinson and Edward James Olmos.
Rogen plays spoiled rich kid, Britt Reid, whose father neglected him, so he has turned to a life of partying and drunkeness. When his father is killed, Reid inherits his father's estate and his business, as well as his coffee maker, Kato (Chou). He has no idea how to run the business, a newspaper company, so he hires Lenore Case (Diaz) to take care of it and leaves Mike Axford (Olmos) in charge. Meanwhile, there is an evil creepy dude, Chudnofsky (Waltz) who wants to be the crime boss in town.
Kato and Reid begin a rocky friendship and Kato shows Reid some cool things that Reid's father had Kato build. We never find out why he had them built or how Kato knows how to build these, but they are pretty kickbutt cool. One night, they see a girl getting beaten, so Reid decides to step in and help. He doesn't do much good, but Kato pulls out some sweet martial arts moves and kicks the crap out of the guys. This gives Reid the idea that he and Kato will act like bad guys to trick the bad guys, so they will actually be good guys. Are you still with me? :) The Green Hornet is born. Meanwhile, Chudnofsky begins to feel like the Hornet is moving in on him, so the fight begins.
The movie boasts some very cool fight scenes, and the gadgets are fun. (The gas gun lends one of the funniest moments in the film.) Unfortunately, it offers little else. Rogen needs to stick to comedy, he really can't pull off being a superhero and his chemistry with Chou felt forced. Also, his relationship with Kato is completely different from the original, I mean we're talking not even close. The romantic side is like watching a couple of 12 year olds, it's immature and not fun or believable, just akward and odd. Sadly, all Diaz does in this movie is yell at them and be eye candy, her talent was wasted here. Along with that, the big fight scene at the end was ridiculous. I love a good "Hero" action ending with everyone taking shots and punching each other without any apparent damage (c'mon, I loved the Expendables!), but this was pitiful. There is one big scene involving an elevator that was so stupid, I laughed out loud. SPOILER ALERT**** A car is cut in half and still drives... yeah... um... thinking about the fact the the gas is in the back, being delivered through a fuel line that is cut, that's not gonna work! SPOILER ALERT**** In any case, this movie is one hot mess.
And for those that are worried about content, this movie has a shocking amount of swearing. The violence is your typical action hero violence, but the language is pervasive. I've heard less in R rated films before. Nothing else to really worry about, but this movie sucks.
In keeping with our "Wizard of Oz theme" drop a house on the craptastic Green Hornet. 1 out of 4 stars.
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